Survivor Voices Propel the Movement Forward

A note from Executive Director
Melissa Erlbaum 

In recent weeks, on stages both public and private, a remarkable number of survivors have exhibited bravery and fortitude in sharing their experiences.  All of us at CWS have heard stories, in some cases from our friends and loved ones, that we may have only now heard for the first time, despite the fact that we work for an organization committed to helping to build a society where domestic and sexual violence are things of the past. 

It is our responsibility, as a compassionate and concerned community, to listen, to truly hear and to give witness to survivor’s experiences. We need to honor the stories and recognize the tremendous courage it took for them to come forward, and recommit ourselves to continue to be there as they forge forward on their journeys of healing.  We should encourage self-care, provide opportunities for more sharing of stories, and create a safe place those stories can be told. 

We must also acknowledge that it is not the responsibility of the abused to come forward and drive the change, rather the obligation is on our community, our society, to shine a light into the dark places and into the shadows. This is a pervasive societal problem and it is up to all of us to create change.

Clearly the national conversation of the past few weeks has brought up a storm of painful memories.  But this is not the end of the conversation. While it is true that we will not all agree on the process, the outcomes or the issues presented, it is also true that the conversation happened, from halls of the US Senate down to the dinner tables and classrooms throughout our communities. It is through dialogue, awareness and education that change emerges. 

The question right now is how we move forward. Will we let the conversation end on the Senate floor, or will we take this unique opportunity to continue to speak out, share our stories, support survivors and hold others accountable for their actions?  Instead of a silencing of voices, I believe the last couple of weeks have shown that as a nation we are prepared to continue to ask the hard questions and shine the light on attitudes and practices that created the environment where sexual assault was overlooked, if not condoned.  The avalanche of stories being shared has hopefully given more people an understanding of the extent of the problem, and across the country, many have spoken up and out to say ‘no…this can no longer be tolerated.’ 

Another encouraging outcome of the last month is that in sharing their stories, survivors have begun to unburden themselves of the guilt and shame they have carried for decades. That process is crucial for there to be healing, and regardless of political party or ideology or cultural identity, this healing will ultimately move us forward, not back, in our movement toward a world built on mutual respect and free from domestic and sexual violence. It may seem like an impossible goal, but in the midst of the pain this month has wrenched free, I believe we can see significant progress toward that goal.